"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." - Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sometimes, I don’t know how God gives me exactly what I need, so that I can give it to my little buddy, and my little princess. It all started at bedtime after we read our stories (sidebar: they insisted that we read two books, and so we did).  After story time, it was time to say our prayers. Lately, they’ve been taking turns saying the prayer and then praying for individuals that cross their minds. I always tell them how proud I am of them for learning how to pray and being able to do it with little help from mommy.  As I was congratulating them and giving high fives, Mason kept turning so he can give me high five with his “big” hand.  I asked Mason to give me a high five, with his left hand as well as his right. “How about two high fives buddy?” His response was,  “I want to do this hand.” ( referring to his right hand instead of his “small” hand). I said “let’s do two high fives” and he said, “I can’t because it’s bad.”  “Huh? What did you say buddy?” …………….. He wouldn’t repeat it. I gently said “ nooooo…………., buddy, it’s not bad……don’t ever say it’s bad. It’s beautiful, mommy loves it and so does God. Mommy loves all of you.”  I began to playfully kiss both his hands…. “Mommy loves this one and this one, this one and this one” Tickling him and kissing his hands as I repeated this over and over. Then I started to do the same to my princess……kissing both her hands and saying the same things over and over to her. It all ended in lots of laughter and big hugs and kisses between the three of us.  I’m grateful for having the strength to handle situations like this while they’re watching or listening. (It hit me like a ton of bricks this morning, tears were flowing as I was thinking about last night).  I try to be strong and let my babies know different doesn’t mean less. I hope they get it. Right now, they are only three…..quickly approaching four years old. My biggest fear is that one day, I won’t be able to say a couple of words or throw out a few kisses to make it all better.

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